vmenendez

i know i should not feel like this…but when i began to lose weight i was losing a few pounds per week…on my last two weigh in’s i had only lost 1 lbs each time….and like i said i know i should not feel so bad about not losing any faster…but i cant help but to think that i should because of the weight i am at this point…has this happened to anyone else??….the only thing i could think at this time is that i am not drinking the same amount of water i was before…still drinking about half a gallon daily now…but that is the only different thing i am doing now.

as you know i only lost one lbs this week and that has me down…so i figured i will push myself a bit more on the threadmill….i am already doing a mile i should push for more….well there was no pushing my knee is killing me today i should have stopped…as i sit here in my office i was thinking about a blog that nancy wrote…she had said listen to your body….she went on to explain how to avoid an injury….i should have thought of her blog last night not this morning….now is too late my knee hurts and i dont want to push it and make it worst…and then to think that if i make it worst i will not be able to really walk for a while…so today i will have to play some wii instead of my threadmill…i just want to lose the weight….i know slow is so much better, and i do understand the concept behind it….but sometimes we do get desperate….now is the time to get creative with the workouts…

does anyone have any ideas if corn meal is something helathy to eat??…i love polenta and i was wondering if that would be a good source of fiber…or how healthy it is…so any input would be awesome.

but i need advice…i am counting all my calorie intake…drinking water  and walking…but not going to the bathroom….i gave up cereal about 2 weeks ago…because even though it does not have alot of calories the milk kills me while at work…i eat wheat pasta, chicken, peanut butter, squash, leeks, green peas, asparagus, corn, lots of onions, peppers, rice, special k bars, beef and pork once in a while, and an english muffing or whole wheat bread like once a week or so…i am not a coffee drinker, and i gave up soda on april 27th…only water for me…for snacks i have apples 2 daily…mangoes, one daily, and once in a while watermelon or fresh pineapple…so why am i not going to the bathroom…does anyone have any ideas?

as we all know i hate my body…i wish i would have taken care of it the way i did my face….but of course i could not put lotions, moisturizers, wrinkle preventors or other things like that on my body it would have been way too easy…if you see me from the waist up you would never think i weight as much as i do…well…when i do go out there is no way i can hide it…so with the weight i have lost and the one i need to lose i know i will have alot of lossssssssssssssseeee skin…i already see it in my tummy…so today i will make it my priority to research plastic surgeons in the area…i talked to my doctor and he was telling me that unfortunatly the skin on the tummy is refered to as an apron…like i want one of those…i figured that by the time i lose all the weight i should have a plastic surgeon picked out to get a tummy tuck…maybe a boob lift again…i had one of those after i was done having kids…now that i will be 50 in a few months everything that has not gone south will be going soon enough….and what i cant fix with exercise i will fix with plastic surgery….i dont care if this takes a couple of years…i will get to where i want to be….so i am off to do something besides work now.

well, today i had the nerve to take a full body pic…i had a co-worker take the pic before i lost my nerve…my pictures are usually from the neck up…i look the best that way…but i believe that i was able to do that because i lost 26lbs so far…i am 5′5 and most of my weight is from my hips on down and lets not even mention my behind….geez…i figure that as i lose weight i can track it with pictures….so i am not happy with the way i am but i am going to change that with time….now i have to learn how to add my before pic on my blogs.

well when i got to work yesterday and i tried to log on……my account was lost…i wrote in and they sent me a password…but i had that already….so in order to log in my  weigh in day and food i had to make a new account….then since i used the same email address it did not let me blog or go in the forum….i was desperate…i wanted to eat but i did not want to ruin all my hard work…so i made a new profile with a new account on buddyslim…anyway i logged on the food and everything else i had to…i reported my 3lbs loss for the week and now my grand total of weight lost is 26lbs…to me is a big deal…i wanted to shout to the world yesterday that now i was under 290….i did not want to say it was 289 because to me it was still under 290…huge deal….to me at least…at work i did not say anything they just saw me desperate trying to do something online…but i remember one person saying one time “ohhh you cant weight more than 275 you could be over 300 and that would be really bad”…of course it does not show on my face but at the time i was 315….my pants and lose tops hide most of it…i try not to wear anything to tight from the waist down…all in all i was ok…i dont want to fall off this wagon i have come a long way without the help of pills or any weight loss product….i want to keep on doing this on my own…i try to follow my calorie intake as recomended by the food journal on this site and i always eat under my allowed amount…i have not had any soda since april 26 of this year….i have not had anything fried…or bbq….my best friend the big mac has not seen me since that day also….i went to the movies to see angels and demons a couple of weeks ago and i bypassed the food counter….i had a bottle of water with me and that was enough….my youngest son anthony went with me and after the movie he tells me he was taking me out to dinner at longhorns…so he says “mom you can have a steak,veggies and a salad”….lol….i think he now understands how bad i want this…i think once i get to 270 i can buy myself something as a reward….and as i lose weight i should keep on doing that….i am still walking a mile per day…so i look at every 10 lbs as a battle to win and this is one war i will not lose.